Fear grips me.
Marijuana relaxes, eases pain, and helps my body work better.
It also stirs paranoia, but only when you let it.
In bed, a fretful waking dream.
This is a problem when you actually have something to be paranoid about!
I dont remember all my last times doing something. Some I do.
The last time I got to work on my own. The last time I climbed the stairs to bed. The last time I attempted wheelchair tennis. Bizarrely, the last time I rode a bike! That was so long ago Im amazed I managed it with MS. The last time I still had some balance.
Its the opposite of growing up. Milestones turn into yardsticks. My world is shrinking.
Sorry, but at my age, my metaphors will be imperial!
We all know MS is a debilitating disease feeling your body imperceptibly retreat is hard to accept. Like climate change, its easier to reject it. But that doesnt stop the glaciers from melting!
So, has the inevitable happened?
My right leg wouldnt bend last night.
I was at work. Big, burly doormen were having to wrestle it into a wheelchair.
Youd have thought it didnt have any strength left. Somehow, it became like an immovable object. Thors hammer in leg form!
I have to negotiate getting out of my wheelchair and transferring to a stair lift admittedly with oodles of help.
How much longer will I manage?
Dunno.
It seems to be a race between my body and Brexit to destroy my part of the service industry.
Streaming services are enough pressure to prevent people from going out. Plop on top of that Brexit causing billions of lost gross domestic product in the U.K.s economy, and live entertainment and restaurants especially feel the effects. Countless restaurants have closed in the last few months.
We all have a lot on our plate unless you try to eat in one of those closed restaurants.
I couldnt get into bed on my own last night. OK, it was the early hours of the morning. I had to wake the wife.
I couldnt get out of bed in the late hours of the morning, either.
Luckily, my oldest son was at home today.
My wife was still in bed. Some brute had woken her in the middle of the night.
At least he no longer gets really drunk and tries for a sneaky pee in the wardrobe.
Amazingly, this still gets mentioned, even though that was the last and only time he tried to do that!
***
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
In 1982 John Connor was a stand up, sketch writer & journalist crap at all three he decided whilst watching a man performing with a paper bag on his head that as nobody else was going to write about stand up he would. Comics Papermac 1990.In 2009 John Connor was diagnosed with MS.In 2017 John Connor still produces/directs his own live 27 year old resident topical comedy show at Londons Comedy Store The Cutting Edge. He was also a leading UK Casting Director specialising in comedy including one of the hippest shows Black Books [double BAFTA winning Situation Comedy Award] & for at least a decade the biggest sitcom on British TV My Family. TV & MS was a step too far and we know how hard any step can be. Luckily his satirical show was a built in part time job & with the election of Trump is now in the zeitgeist.John now writes Fall Down Get Up Again an irreverent journey with MS.
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