Americana: The best pick-up line – Daily Herald

Since theres nothing more sobering than a deadly pandemic, storms, earthquakes, economy crashing and ferocious political battles, I decided this might be a good time to poke a stick in a hornets nest.

In a visit to New York last summer, we westerners noted that there are no pickups on the streets. What would a New York apartment-dweller use a pick-up for? Answer: Not feeling like such a pantywaist in your low-slung sedan.

Which is the best full-sized truck? Ford, Chevy, Ram or (ahem) Toyota. My son-in-law, Walt Bowers III and his father are part of the cultish group of Tacoma owners that gather several times a year, (at the solstices perhaps?) to take their Tacoma trucks off roading. They sit around the campfires and talk Tacomas.

But Taco lovers are not the only folks who get a little funny on the subject of pickups.

My son Scott and his wife Kimberly decided they needed a spiffy truck to place advertising on the door for his dental practice in Pocatello, Idaho. He got a white Ford F-150. The statistics they are collecting on new patients suggest that the strategy works. Apparently, any guy who has such a handsome truck must be a right fine dentist.

I was once oblivious to the hostile glance that Chevy owners give to Ford owners. Ram owners pretend to kick their friends new Ford truck tires in a friendly salute, but both owners know theres nothing friendly about it. Words like torque, lifted off-roading and 'tow-capacity' are key indicators of testosterone poisoning. Chest beating, grunting and spitting may ensue.

As I shoveled the fourth cubic yard of horse manure from our Ford F-150 into a wheelbarrow, I mused on how much I love that truck. I know that choosing Ford could cause Chevy and Ram owners to excommunicate me from intelligent society, but I cant deny it.

My first true vehicle love was a 1995 Ford 351 twelve passenger van. I used it like a pickup. Its roominess inspired weeks of family exploring, but its reliability inspired true devotion. We finally sold it when the odometer rolled to 200,000 miles, when only the youngest three children were at home. It still got the same mileage it had when we got it 150,000 miles earlier.

The Ford F-150 is the best-selling vehicle in the world. Last year, Ford sold almost 900,000 trucks and almost all of them were in North America. Second is RAM with almost 633,700 trucks sold. Next comes Chevys Silverado 575,569 and then Toyotas Tacoma at about a quarter million units sold. Thats a bit less than 2.4 million brand new trucks sold last year! Add that to the millions of trucks already on the road, we can understand that full-sized pickups make up more than 15% of all vehicles on American Roads.

Better yet, trucks get greener and greener. Newer full-sized trucks that get high 20s or even low 30s on the highway. The cabs can hold five or six people comfortably. Companies that rank interiors say that RAM is the best appointed. For towing, Fords get the nod and for torque, (muscles) Chevy wears the spandex.

My F-150 is 19 years old and running great. The paint is more faded than my hair color and we had to replace the back window when Jeff drove a 4-wheeler into it. But it just keeps going.

I love it for hauling the stuff I need for projects. Its so lovely to be able to carry sheets of drywall or plywood, lumber or furniture. This afternoon we brought home our fourth truckload of (free) horse manure for my garden beds. Next week, well be hauling lumber and sand for a sandbox, then shrubs and mulch for a new landscape project.

Everyone needs a truck or a good friend to lend one.

Only in America, God bless it.

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Americana: The best pick-up line - Daily Herald