Haunted by war, injured Utah veteran dies waiting for treatment

Courtesy Carlson Family James Steven Carlson, a 2004 graduate of Salt Lake Countys Skyline High School, is pictured at the Salt Lake City Airport after returning from his first leave. An Army infantryman who was in on some of the Iraq Wars most heated fighting, Carlson was found dead last weekend in a motel room in Murray.

When soldiers die in war, a grieving family reels from the suddenness of death.

But when a soldier like James Steven Carlson dies slowly after a war, his brain forever rattled, his anxiety unrelenting and conscience seared, a familys pain is no less acute.

The 27-year-old Carlson, who served in Iraq in 2005 and 2006, was laid to rest Friday at the Utah Veterans Cemetery by his parents, siblings, wife and two sons.

"I always kind of knew this day would come," his father, Steve Carlson, told an LDS Stake Center filled with mourners Friday. "Its a day Id hoped would never come."

Carlsons body was found last Saturday in a rented room in Murray where hed been staying for six weeks, waiting for a slot in an intensive treatment program at the George E. Wahlen Veterans Administration Medical Center in Salt Lake City.

His family does not know why or how he died but they know this: As fiercely as he fought in Iraq, his toughest battles were when he came home.

Carlson, a 2004 graduate of Skyline High, served as an Army infantryman in Iraq during some of the deadliest, most confusing battles.

He fractured his leg coming off a roof in the rain during an ambush in Fallujah. He came home, as well, with a traumatic brain injury, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and what psychologists call "moral injury" a haunting guilt over having to kill the enemy and for surviving when ones buddies didnt.

"The hardest part was dealing with the guilt," said his father, who hopes to raise awareness of young veterans struggles by telling his sons story.

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Haunted by war, injured Utah veteran dies waiting for treatment