Home Again: Children, others model kindness, sensitivity | Commentary – Olean Times Herald

Something is growing alongside my garage. It is a cross between Timothy grass that farmers grow and a wild grass you might find in a swamp or natural area.

It grows tall and has fuzzy curved heads that bow in a light wind. I have not seen this grass before, but it brought a sweet memory of someones kindness.

In his later years, my stepfather had an implanted defibrillator. He experienced heart issues with several hospitalizations during his last years, sometimes in Erie, sometimes in Bradford. Each time, all he wanted was to get back to his animals in his rural Port Allegany home on Route 6.

He raised some Scottish Highland cattle for a time and enjoyed working in the hillside pasture behind his house. Later, however, it was just his dogs and cats mostly pets that his children couldnt keep for one reason or another who ended up being re-homed in his barn. I was guilty. An almost feral calico cat went to live with Dad. This petite gal was a scrapper and needed more space to roam after one of our moves. Dad took her in and ultimately tamed her to let him pet her and scratch her belly.

When Dad had to go to Cleveland Clinic for a new defibrillator that doctors decided would best be implanted there, my brother drove him from Pennsylvania. He couldnt stay because of job commitments. Cleveland was only a couple of hours from our Michigan home, so I drove there to keep Dad company the day of the procedure.

After entering his room, I noticed a jar on the window. It had stalks of an interesting grass sitting in water, like Timothy but not quite. He said a kind nurse had brought them to him. She told him it wouldnt be the same as going home, but she knew he was missing the country, so decided she would bring a little bit of the country to him. It was among the nicest of gestures. Nursing in any size hospital is a busy profession. What a heart for the patients this woman had!

Ill always remember that as demonstration of how a gesture of kindness and being sensitive to anothers need doesnt have to be costly or elaborate. Last weekend, I witnessed another example of sensitivity and kindness. It happened at my grand-niece Alis 7th birthday party. A passel of kids ran around, jumping on the trampoline, swinging and playing unicorn games. Unicorns are among Alis favorite things.

Family members also milled around, including my niece, Amy (Amelia), who is blind and has cerebral palsy that includes a paralysis of one side. She can walk but needs assistance. She is an adult but childlike and our family has generally adapted to ways we can help her. We do, but sometimes get impatient. At the party, however, I witnessed the pure sensitivity of a 7-year-old.

At gift-opening time, Amy asked to sit in a chair next to the birthday girl. Soon, Ali, dressed in her princess dress, was pulling gifts from bags and tearing into others. I had my cell phone out to record the occasion. It was then I noticed that with each revealed gift, Ali stopped, took her cousins hand, described the gift in words but also directed Amys exploration. It was a pretty tactile experience because of all the soft, stuffed unicorns! As I photographed, Ali did not tire of her task. She did this with every gift.

Through the years, I have learned ways to assist Amy and keep an eye out for things I can buy her that account for her special needs. I have also purchased books which I know my sister will read to her. When Amy opens a book, she does what she did with Ali she asks you to take her hand with an extended index finger for guidance across the pages as you read aloud. I am familiar with adaptations she needs, such as placing a rubber mat under her dish at mealtime, so it wont slide away, and taking her hand to point out which food is where.

I know some of these things, but I also know that patience plays a big role when helping Amy engage with whats going on at our gatherings.

Little Ali displayed incredible patience at her birthday party. Once my sister showed her what to do, Ali stuck with it, happy to share her joy as she opened each gift. She didnt forget, in her excitement, even once. It choked me up a little bit watching. I had to put the phone down to just gratefully observe Alis sensitivity and kindness.

I felt a similar sensation as a witness to what the nurse had done for my dad. We sometimes wonder what we can do to help another, to make their day better. Such acts as these reminded me we can all do something to brighten the way for someone. And sometimes, the best teacher is a little child.

(Contact contributor Deb Wuethrich at deborah marcein@gmail.com.)

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Home Again: Children, others model kindness, sensitivity | Commentary - Olean Times Herald