How It Feels To Go Through The Menopause At 35 – British Vogue

I was a bit naive about early surgical menopause. Since I was 13 or 14, I struggled with endometriosis; its a very painful condition where cells similar to the lining of the womb are found outside the uterus. By my thirties, I was in constant pain. Sometimes Id even throw up and almost pass out because it was so severe.

On top of that, I had Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), which meant I would experience severe lows that would make me feel suicidal at times. I was left with no choice but to have a full hysterectomy and my ovaries removed aged 35. Id already had several surgeries and tried various medications, but the endometriosis and pain always came back.

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I wasnt really prepared for early surgical menopause. I was too busy focusing on not being in so much physical and mental pain to really think about it. After having my ovaries removed, it felt like I had fallen off a cliff in some ways; my hormone levels just dropped. I went from being somebody who was premenopausal to postmenopausal overnight with natural menopause, its a transition that takes a number of years.

I was expecting hot flushes, but actually thats one of the only symptoms I havent had. I have had a lot of bone pain and joint aches, which have at times been quite extreme. I experience heart palpitations and anxiety, especially when my hormone levels are low. And I get this crashing fatigue where it takes all my might just to get up from my seat. And the brain fog it hasnt completely gone away. My thinking feels quite fuzzy and I forget words.

Around 1 in 100 women around the world experience premature menopause before 40.

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The symptoms are improving, but ongoing. Ive struggled to find the right kind of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). Now I have oestrogen and testosterone implants, which are inserted every six months or so. They work for me, but they arent the perfect answer. I have similar symptoms to those I had premenstrually, including low mood, headaches and fatigue, when the implants are inserted, and then when the hormones are used up.

Harder than dealing with the symptoms was the feeling of isolation at the beginning. I was going through something that seemingly no one else in my peer group had experienced. Six years on, its like Im living with a chronic illness. I dont want to have to remind people that Ive had my ovaries removed, but it does affect every part of your life.

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Going through early menopause has made me realise how women are often defined by their reproductive organs. I dont have children; I dont think I was ever hugely maternal, but I wasn't well enough to even consider trying for children before my hysterectomy. I didnt choose to have my eggs frozen because I wanted to get on with the surgery.

Sometimes I feel sad about the fact that I cant have children, but its the reaction from others thats been the hardest to deal with. Ive been asked some really personal questions by people I dont know when they find out I dont have kids.

The important thing for those going through early menopause is finding support. A lot of the issues around early menopause are misunderstood. I now volunteer for The Daisy Network a charity for women with Premature Ovarian Insufficiency (POI) and early menopause. Healthcare professionals are generally poorly educated in this area, and many women and girls out there are suffering. I want to use my experience to help others.

Around 1 in 100 women around the world experience premature menopause before 40. For more information about World Menopause Day 2019 on 18 October, visit imsociety.org

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How It Feels To Go Through The Menopause At 35 - British Vogue