I Have a Chronic Illness. Here’s Why I Hate New Year’s Resolutions – Healthline

Written by Hattie Gladwell on December 15, 2020 Fact checked by Jennifer Chesak

We need to stop starting every new year by setting these unreachable standards for ourselves.

Each year, my social media feeds are filled with New Years resolutions. People promise themselves that theyre going to lose weight or hit the gym every day.

They say theyre going to work super hard to get a promotion, or that theyre finally going to stop drinking or smoking.

The thing is, New Years resolutions can actually be pretty detrimental to our mental well-being especially for the chronic illness community.

While some may succeed, of course, these vows are just not feasible for others.

When we set such huge goals, thinking it assures ourselves of change, we can wind up feeling no motivation to continue the moment we have any kind of slip-up.

The result can be not accomplishing what you set out to do, and feeling bad about yourself as a result.

As a chronically ill person living with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), this feeling is familiar to me. I often promise myself I will accomplish something, only to have the unpredictability of my illness derail my plans.

For that reason, theres absolutely no way I will be making any resolutions this year. Not even small ones.

Its been nearly 6 years since my initial diagnosis of ulcerative colitis, and Im still trying to come to terms with the effects its had on me.

Even on my good days, living with a chronic illness can take a toll on my self-esteem.

I wish I could go to the gym and live a super healthy lifestyle, but in reality, Im often stuck on the toilet in a flare, living on stodgy, beige foods to avoid even more suffering.

I wish I could enjoy a night out dancing like other women my age, but instead, Im often tossing and turning, getting up every hour to use the toilet.

Living with a chronic illness is hard enough, and often makes me compare my life to others.

There can be so much pressure on chronically ill people already, not just from society, but sometimes even from our closest friends and family.

Were told to stop being lazy or dramatic, or that were making up how were feeling. Were told that other people have it worse and that we just need to get on with it.

Im not making any resolutions because I dont want to put additional, undue pressure on myself.

It might be new year, new me for some, but when you have a chronic illness, making changes is hard because life continues to be as unpredictable as ever.

The sad truth is that unless my chronic illness magically vanishes (hint: it wont), its never going to be a time for a new me.

I can come to terms with my illness, which I have tried my best to do, but Im never going to have that before and after that resolutions promise. Im forever going to be in limbo, and Im learning that maybe thats OK.

By not setting any resolutions as the new year approaches, I can avoid the mental distress of not being able to do the thing I promised myself I would.

We need to stop starting every new year by setting these unreachable standards for ourselves. We need to just get through life the best we can, to find the joys where we can, and focus on doing what we can, when we can, without making a huge deal about it.

Im not saying anyone who makes a New Years resolution cant stick to it. But if youre living with a chronic illness like I am, you may struggle with the pressure you place on yourself.

Why increase that pressure when you can make a resolution to simply take each day as it comes, to do the best you can, no matter the outcome?

I know that in the new year I will have good days, bad days and terrible days. Thats just what living with a long-term illness is like. Its unpredictable, and the bad days can hit anytime.

But knowing that there will be bad days doesnt mean its going to be a bad year. It just means that itll continue to be my normal, which is just doing the best I can. Maybe thats OK maybe thats more than OK. Maybe thats enough.

Hattie Gladwell is a mental health journalist, author, and advocate. She writes about mental illness in hopes of diminishing the stigma and to encourage others to speak out.

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I Have a Chronic Illness. Here's Why I Hate New Year's Resolutions - Healthline