Is 'conscious uncoupling' a better way to divorce?

Posted: Published on March 30th, 2014

This post was added by Dr Simmons

Sandwiched between posts on mid-century modern recycled plastic side tables and the best sugar wax treatment in San Francisco, Gwyneth Paltrow dropped the news of her marital separation last week on her lifestyle website, Goop.

Ms. Paltrow, known as much for promoting juice cleanses as her Best Actress Oscar, characterized the end of her marriage to the British rock star Chris Martin as a "conscious uncoupling" -- a term that drew more than a few eye rolls.

But what some see as pretension, others see as practicality. And marriage experts believe she might be onto something.

"I'll admit that given it was Gwyneth Paltrow, my first instinct was snarky," said Deesha Philyaw of Forest Hills, co-author of "Co-Parenting 101" with her ex-husband, Michael Thomas. "But conscious uncoupling is a real thing. It's an approach to separation and divorce that's really child-friendly."

Ms. Paltrow and Mr. Martin have two children, Apple, 9, and Moses, 7, and are reportedly taking a post-separation family vacation on the island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas.

In her blog post titled "Conscious Uncoupling," Ms. Paltrow included a lengthy essay by one of her mentors, Habib Sadeghi, and his wife, Sherry Sami, defining conscious uncoupling.

The term was coined by Los Angeles therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, who offers a five-week online course to "release the trauma of a breakup, reclaim your power and reinvent your life."

Dr. Sadeghi and Ms. Sami write on Ms. Paltrow's blog that when the concept of marriage and divorce is re-examined, "there's actually something far more powerful -- and positive -- at play."

Long-term marriage might be an outdated concept, they write, better suited to a time when human life expectancy was closer to 30 than 80. "The idea of being married to one person for life is too much pressure for anyone," they write.

The end of a marriage should be viewed less as a personal failing than as an opportunity for growth. "From this perspective, there are no bad guys, just two people, each playing teacher and student respectively," they say. "When we understand that both are actually partners in each other's spiritual progress, animosity dissolves much quicker and a new paradigm for conscious uncoupling emerges, replacing the traditional, contentious divorce."

Read the original:
Is 'conscious uncoupling' a better way to divorce?

Related Posts
This entry was posted in MS Treatment. Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.