I am a 58-year-old lesbian. Since the menopause, I have not had any sexual feelings: masturbation doesnt work and I dont get wet any more and am very upset about it. The only kind of arousal I feel is during fantasies about a Hollywood actress on whom I have the most massive crush. My GP suggested testosterone, which horrified me. Is there anything I can do to restore my sexual feelings?
I can understand your reticence about using a hormonal agent many others feel the same way. Perhaps it seems unnatural, or you are worried that supplementary testosterone could have side-effects. In your situation, though, I really recommend you take your GPs advice. As women age, we produce less of the important hormones that are present earlier in life notably oestrogen and testosterone that enhance sex and make it comfortable. When oestrogen is lacking, a woman does not experience the same level of lubrication as a preparation for sex. Testosterone is also an important sex hormone for men and women, and if it is not at an optimum level for a woman she will have diminished sexual desire. Talk to your GP again, ask all the important questions you have about safety and side-effects and make up your mind in the full understanding of your options.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.
If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please dont send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.
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