Me and my mental health: ‘The pressures of working as a nurse left me suicidal we need more support’ – inews

NewsReal LifeAs statistics show alarming suicide rates among nurses, one who worked in A&E reveals the pressures he was under

Wednesday, 13th November 2019, 11:55 am

As part of a new series calledMe and my mental health,iis sharing people's stories about how their personal struggles have impacted their lives.

A nurse who has felt suicidal due to the pressures of work has spoken to i, anonymously, to call for better mental health support for staff and for an end to a bullying and toxic culture in the NHS.

Earlier this year, the government was urged to carry out an urgent inquiry into alarming nurse suicide figures 23 per cent higher than the national average from 2011 to 2017, the latest year on record. More than 300 overworked nurses took own lives in those years. During the worst year, one killed themselves every week.

As well as impacting nurses themselves, the 36-year-old, who works in the North, stresses that patient care is being jeopardised too.

I've been a nurse for 12 years and I've always been extremely proud to wear the uniform. It's always been a stressful job you know that when you sign up but over the last few years the pressure has really been ramped up.

My mental health problems began two years ago when I was working in A&E. It was fast-paced; it varies with the time of year but typically we could see 240 patients a day. In the space of a few days, I experienced three traumatic incidences two infant deaths and a teenager dying from a cardiac arrest. I was the only nurse looking after a five-bed bay.

Nurses have a very varied, highly pressured role. In A&E we're often the first point of contact for patients when they come in. We deal with people suffering from a variety of different conditions, often in a critical or highly anxious state.

It's down to us to assess the patient and make sure they are directed to the right place to get the best possible care. It's difficult to prioritise patients when you're stressed. We're often the ones communicating with upset relatives too.

This challenging enough without being short-staffed. The pressure of dealing with three deaths so close together as the only nurse was enormous. There should have been two or three nurses in a bay of five.

Nurse staffing levels are set by individual health providers. The Royal College of Nursing makes recommendations, but there are currently no compulsory guidelines. This needs to change, for both the nurses' and the patients' sakes.

Easy to make mistakes

It's quite frightening how many 'near misses' we have drawing up medications due to distractions

I knew I felt stressed and I asked a senior nurse if I could be relocated on other duties for a break from it. She screamed at me and told me, 'This is your job as a nurse, get on with it.'

Shortly after that I ended up in the same A&E myself with palpitations. Staff checked my over for heart problems, but I later realised it was anxiety. No-one at the hospital picked up on this, because they had such little time to ask me questions.

Back at work, the pressure continued, and it never eases up.

Shortages of beds is a constant battle. It's common to have patients on trolleys for hours in corridors, in an undignified manner. I remember one Christmas Day there were 44 people like this.

You can't concentrate on delivering care when patients, relatives and other staff keep needing your attention. Not only is that stressful for the staff, it's potentially dangerous for the patients. We are responsible for people's lives. It's quite frightening how many 'near misses' we have drawing up medications due to distractions. We do quite complex maths calculations and when you're interrupted it's only human to make mistakes.

'Blame culture'

Senior management are under so much pressure to hit targets that they pass the stress down to staff below them

There is a real blame culture in the NHS, and a toxic, bulling environment, that's getting worse. I've been called useless and told I'm no good at my job when I know I am, and I was even berated by a senior colleague in front of other senior managers. I made a complaint but it was brushed under the carpet.

A colleague was belittled and ostracised when a patient has waited over 12 hours in A&E before being admitted to a ward, which meant a black mark against the hospital's targets. It literally wasn't her fault as there were no beds anywhere for them. Yet she was called useless. There were backhanded comments to others that she had to be watched. She was very good at her job, yet was held personally responsible for the wider failings of the health service.

I'm sure no-one goes into the NHS to be nasty to people and make them feel small. Senior management are under so much pressure to hit targets that they pass the stress down to staff below them.

Sleepless nights

I lost sleep sometimes I only got an hour or two then had to work a busy shift

Nurses work long shifts. I'd come in 30 minutes early to catch up on emails which are important to keep on top of as there wasn't time otherwise, and it was typical to stay behind half an hour or an hour to finish dealing with something on a regular basis. Furthermore, it's a nightmare trying to get annual leave. You ask for a full week off but you're ignored and put down for an odd day in the rota, so it's hard to really switch off.

After I ended up in A&E, I began suffering with depression. I lost sleep sometimes I only got an hour or two then had to work a busy shift. I became withdrawn from friends and family. Working unsociable shifts and the struggle with not being able to take proper time off means it's difficult to spend time with loved ones.

I have felt suicidal. There are many great people and things in my life, it was simply work that was getting me down.

I've moved departments and work as a bed manager but it's still very stressful. If I'm longer than a few minutes in the toilet, a manager will ring me and ask me what I was doing.

No empathy

In total, I've had around six months off work over the last two years due to stress. I've had counselling, through work and my GP. When I approached my manager for therapy, she acted like it was a real chore for her to arrange. There was no empathy.

Nurses have a tough job looking after other people, but who is looking after the nurses? They need more support. Or those shameful suicide statistics will not change.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, or are struggling with your mental health in other ways, you can contactTheSamaritansfor free on116 123or emailjo@samaritans.org.

Do you have a mental health story to share? Email claudia.tanner@inews.co.uk

Go here to read the rest:

Me and my mental health: 'The pressures of working as a nurse left me suicidal we need more support' - inews