My mother has Alzheimer’s. Coronavirus makes things worse. – Los Angeles Times

My 83-year-old mother was scheduled to move into a skilled nursing facility near our home in Birmingham, Ala., on March 23. The global pandemic put a wrench in those plans.

As things open up in our state, my family wonders how to continue to protect Mom amid so much uncertainty. While many questions remain about COVID-19s trajectory and the preparedness of nursing homes to shield residents from infection, our confidence in caring for her Mom suffers from numerous physical limitations and late Alzheimers disease is wavering.

On her best days, Mom is funny and engaged.

On her worst days, she forgets how to sit, stand or swallow. She wanders the hallways at night, stopping when she reaches doors with childproof locks or rooms weve blocked off for her protection. She falls, and we all come running to make sure she hasnt broken a bone. She asks whether my mother is still living and why my dad, who died in 2018, hasnt come home for dinner.

Unfortunately, she experiences more bad days than good as her disease progresses.

Mom moved to Birmingham from a long-term care facility in Illinois in August. Shed lived her entire life in DeWitt County, married to a farmer and involved in a flurry of church activities and community organizations. She knew everyone, including other residents at the nursing home and the locals who came to visit.

Here, everything is new. A household structured around my and my husbands work obligations. College-aged granddaughters coming and going. New doctors. New church. New community. Change isnt easy, especially for an 83-year-old whos facing a frightening disease that, at her most coherent, she understands. Somewhat.

So far, weve dodged the coronavirus bullet at our house. With reports of the steep toll COVID-19 has taken in nursing homes across the country, we are thankful that Mom wasnt in that particular line of fire. And we are fortunate to have a wonderful aide who helps with her care most weekdays.

But to maintain our current arrangement may affect both Moms safety and my own survival. My history with breast cancer and cardiac issues make my responsibilities as her chief caregiver difficult.

Moms condition requires me to steer her in and out of a wheelchair. Hold her up with a gait belt while my daughter helps her pull up her pants. Brace her when she attempts to use the walker or transition into her favorite recliner, which she brought from Illinois. I go to bed and wake up with pain in my arms, back and abdomen. Im short of breath when there are too many things going on at once to do the breathing exercises I learned at cardiac rehab. Im depressed and I constantly feel inadequate.

I have power of attorney for Mom, so designated as my parents aged. I cared for Dad during the final nine months of his life and made the call to take him off machines when it was clear that his quality of life wouldnt honor what he wanted.

But with COVID-19 looming, theres so much that I cant know as I try to make decisions about whats in Moms best interest. The facility weve chosen in Birmingham, with Moms approval, offers delicious meals and social activities in addition to 24-hour nursing care and therapy. Its lovely, a far cry from the frightening almshouses where the elderly and infirmed were housed alongside those labeled insane or even the improved, yet dismal places I entered as a kid to sing Christmas carols to residents gathered in the common room.

Before the pandemic hit, Mom was excited about decorating her room at the nursing home and about the new friends she would make. Wed be stopping by every day, taking her out for a meal or an afternoon at the park and bringing her home for holidays and special occasions.

But if we move her now, she would disappear behind a veil of quarantine secrecy and fear. I couldnt pop by for surprise visits or check up on her care in person. I could wave from outside her window or converse through a computer screen, but both are poor substitutes for sharing a hug and being present while she recounts her day. And all the while, I would know that nursing home coronavirus tolls were only mounting.

So, we wait.

Cynthia Ryan is associate professor of English at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

Original post:
My mother has Alzheimer's. Coronavirus makes things worse. - Los Angeles Times