Rowan Pelling’s sex column: Can I rely on a man 17 years younger?

By Rowan Pelling

Published: 18:11 EST, 1 June 2014 | Updated: 18:11 EST, 1 June 2014

QUESTION: My husband left me suddenly after 26 years of marriage and three children. It took me ages to summon the courage for online dating and far longer to find someone. I found two one my own age and one 17 years my junior. My head says I should choose the man my age, but I have chemistry with the younger man. What should I do?

It doesn't matter if your partner is younger than you as long as you have chemistry (picture posed by models)

ANSWER: You would have put considerable care and thought into committing to your husband and yet he left you. The question is whether the head is always a more reliable arbiter of romantic stability than the heart.

While it may generally be true that an older man may be more capable of long-term fidelity, this is a generalisation.

And I have met young men who are impeccably loyal to older female partners and older males as fickle as any young stud. And, of course, many older men simply lose their libido as they age.

Profound reciprocal emotion seems to me a better guarantee of lasting happiness than age.

After raw chemistry is taken into consideration, Id look at which of these men is happy to support you in your working life and has no problem about joint finances. Which of the two shares the same taste in friends and recreational activities, and who makes you laugh most. A 34-year-old man knows his mind in the way a lad a decade younger might not when a brief Mrs Robinson fantasy may distract him.

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Rowan Pelling's sex column: Can I rely on a man 17 years younger?