What not to say to someone going through the menopause – goodhousekeeping.com

The menopause. While some women sail through it, for others its a debilitating experience, not helped by eye-rolls and jokey comments about hot flushes and 'acting emotional' from unsympathetic observers.

As part of our Project Body Love initiative, in partnership with Always Discreet, were on a mission to normalise the conversation around 'taboo' topics - menopause included. So to help you dodge insensitivity and support those going through the menopause, whether its your other half, your best friend or a colleague, we asked women to tell us what you should never say to someone experiencing the menopause (and how to offer a helping hand through the process).

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Its a common dismissal that many women hear during their lives, whether in response to bad period pain, or, later in life, the anxiety, hot flushes and memory lapses that can the menopause can bring.

Telling someone to pull themselves together is extremely unhelpful; instead, educate yourself on the symptoms of the menopause, so you can empathise and bolster them through tough times. Try to talk to your friend or loved one about what theyre going through, reassuring them that you are on their side. And above all, be patient; the menopause doesnt last forever, and your support can make all the difference.

Its brilliant that conversation is finally opening up about the menopause, but the fact that it was often kept hush-hush in the past has led to accusations of attention-seeking or overly precious behaviour now that women are finally speaking out.

Lets get this clear: women have always suffered from menopausal side-effects, whether thats night sweats, vaginal dryness or bladder weakness - theyve just had less freedom to discuss them. But talking about symptoms like bladder leaks can not only make you feel less alone, it can also help you seek solutions. Bladder leaks are hugely common during the menopause due to hormonal changes that can result in weakening of the bladder muscles. Always Discreet offers absorbent products to draw away moisture and neutralise odour in moments of need. Kegel exercises are also great for strengthening the pelvis and helping to eliminate bladder weakness.

First of all, this is not necessarily true. Although strictly, the menopause is when a woman stops having periods, the lead-up can last anything from a few months to a few years, during which a woman will have increasingly infrequent - but still existent - periods.

Secondly, while for many women the disappearance of periods is met with a sigh of relief, for others it can come with a tricky emotions, ranging from mixed feelings over the loss of their fertility to deep sadness and regret that their reproductive years are over. Be sensitive, and lend an ear to whatever they're feeling.

Just as every woman who gives birth will have a different story, so the menopause is as unique as the individual going through it. Its true that for some women, the menopause is simply not a big deal. For others though, it can be unbelievably tough, so if you've been through it yourself, try and avoid drawing comparisons with your own experience.

If someone you know is struggling, dont let them suffer in silence - their GP can offer a range of treatments, whether thats hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to help relieve severe menopausal symptoms, oestrogen creams, lubricants or moisturisers for vaginal dryness, or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to address low mood and anxiety.

They can also speak to their GP about bladder weakness, which is extremely common, not only among those going through the menopause, but among women in general. In fact, bladder leaks affect two-thirds of all women in the UK, according to Always Discreet, with 46% of women admitting theyre too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it.

Never feel ashamed to discuss distressing symptoms with your doctor, and if the first GP you visit is unhelpful, dont be afraid to seek a second opinion.

Just no.

Project Body Love: Good Housekeeping and Always Discreet are joining forces to change the way women think, feel and speak about their bodies. Bladder weakness should not be a taboo topic - together, we commit to shifting the dial on body confidence, encouraging positive mindset and putting an end to negative self-talk and embarrassment

Join the Project Body Love movement by sharing your story or pledge on social media, tagging @goodhousekeepinguk and including #ProjectBodyLove and #AlwaysDiscreet

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What not to say to someone going through the menopause - goodhousekeeping.com